Hero

Women do heroic things  -  Men want to be a hero

Any time we start to look at gender differences (of which there are always exceptions) we tend to get a little edgy, but hold on, push through to the other side, and it can really help as you relate to the other sex.  

One of our differences is that men have something within them which wants to be a hero.  This hero desire may be beaten down, hidden, or mis-directed - but if you poke around a bit - it is there.  Make whatever you will of it, but you will find men, again and again, looking for a way to be heroic.

Women, if you are married to a man who knows he is your hero, you are married to someone who will die for you, who will give everything to you, who will go above and beyond to maintain the hero status.  Heroes make great husbands (if they are a hero to their spouse).

How can you make your man feel like the hero he wants to be?

1. Public Praise.  Think about how heroes are recognized.  It is almost always public (ceremonies, statues, medals, etc.)  Praise men in public, and see what happens.  Building them up doesn't lower you.  However, be bold and don't follow complements with some lame joking cut-down.  Just let the recognition stand.  Women who don't cut down their husbands in public have better husbands.  And better husbands make better marriages.
2. Small Victories Count.  We all make bad decisions, get in over our heads, and sometimes things don't go as planned.  Highlighting this side of life kills an important part of men, and they will go be a hero somewhere else.  Recognize what went right, where they pulled the pieces together and made the best of a bone headed move.  "I appreciate how you were thinking of me as you tried to fix the...." You don't need to point out that it never actually got fixed, or the cost, or the time... focus on win.  
3. Look for Hero Moments.  Us men are pretty simple, just like kids, catch us doing something right.  When you see your man acting in a sacrificial way, working to solve a problem, attacking a challenge - give that boy a star!

WARNING  - If men do not feel like a hero at home, they will likely find a place there they can be a hero.  This may be at work, in sports, or volunteering.  Unfortunately, it is also why men often end up in the arms of other women, or addicted to one of many escapes....  I'm not saying that men shouldn't be heros at work or on the field, but it should start at home.

Men - Be the most honorable hero you can be.
                  The dictator is not a hero.
                        The megalomaniac is not a hero.
                                The servant is the hero.

"There is no greater love than this, to lay down your life for your friend." 

Jesus (John 15:13)

PS to men.  Go back to "Pathetic" you may need to point out your heroics from time to time, but even if you don't get a medal, know that real heroes soldier on...