Kids?

Before marriage, just about every couple talks about kids.   How many kids they are interested in, and the timeline of when - or even how existing kids fit into the picture.   It is something which naturally comes up in the topic of, "should we get married."

So this isn't about that discussion.  It has come and gone, and then life happens with the inevitable surprises and adjustments.  But, most couples don't talk about something even more important as the journey picks up pace.  It is this, "What do you want for your kids?"

Have you thought about this?  Have you talked about this with your spouse?  Because working together you can shape this and find great marital satisfaction in this - or it can be a source of great tension....

This isn't simple like "how many" or "when."  It is richly complex.  It is a conversation which must continue throughout every phase.  Toddlers, teens or marrying adults - what do you want for your kids?  When you talk about this together, when you scheme on this together, when you pray on this together - you will have a better marriage.

And the more you talk about it - the more you can trust each other in your parenting.  You won't need fig leaves to hide your darker parenting moments from the other.  If you know you are heading in the same direction with your kids, you can once again give them the benefit of the doubt - making the assumption you are married to a good person (not an ax murderer).

Fun at Camp Fowler!

This week Jen and I are leading the teaching for over 100 middle schoolers at a week long session at Camp Fowler.  It is a fascinating time of getting to know a pile of kids.  Kids who come from homes where they want them to be "good kids."  But how many of them have parents who want even more from them?  How many have parents striving together to provide better for their kids than the mediocre suburban upbringing.   I have no idea.  Making the decision to send them to a Christian camp for a week means they are doing something different than the norm....


What do you want for your kids?

Here is some of what do we want:

• Spiritually vibrant children who understand how they can have a relationship with God.
• Globally aware children who understand there is more in this world than white suburbia.
• Children who are creative in using their unique personality and abilities in this world.
• Kids who respect their parents, and want to always maintain a healthy open relationship with them.

The list goes on for us - and I'm sure we will have varying degrees of success and failure along the way - but it brings us together on the journey....