Truth or Dare...

Have you ever downloaded a cheesy Truth or Dare on your smartphone or tablet? The game that once required nothing more than creativity and some teenagers looking for a thrill, doesn't even require creativity anymore.  Let the app give you questions to embarrass, or dares to challenge your inhibitions...

I'll admit it, I'm not far from a teenager's mindset (most guys aren't), so I downloaded an app, and one night we gave it a try.  Guess what - the truth section was really boring.  What might take some bravery for a teen to admit to peers, was common knowledge between us.  A game of truth isn't much of a game if you can answer each other's questions...

However, I know many marriages where there is a virtual treasure trove of unknowns in the relationship.  Unlocking the, "don't let my wife know's," the "if my husband found out's," the "I could never tell her that's," and the "he thinks he knows, but he doesn't really's," would be much more daring than making a prank call or putting your clothes on inside out.  But they need to come out if you have hope of getting to the garden.

If we are ever to have marriages where we are really knowing, understanding, and appreciating each other - you have to get things out in the open.  Probably not all at once, and if there is long standing pattern of omission care needs to be taken.  But to have a Biblical marriage, one where "they were naked and not ashamed" the game of "Truth" must be really boring.

But the dares don't have to be....

Do more than sleep in bed

We don't talk about it, but it happens just about every night.  While sleeping, we touch.  I realize this is a pretty profound statement, somewhat revolutionary, and nothing short of shocking - but as married adults we  make physical contact in bed...

Years ago, I don't remember the source, who found it, or much of anything else, but one of us found an article about a study which discoverd that couples who maintained physical contact throughout the night had better marriages.  It wasn't about sex, it was just about one point of contact between two people.

We both read the article, commented that it was interesting, and that was it.  However, ever since, without ever talking about it, throughout the night we have sought to make contact.  Sometimes it is shifting over six inches, sometimes it is a finger tip, other times it is a leg slid over until a toe touches the one we are married to - but as the result of reading a brief article we found something which changed our patterns.

I could write about how contact keeps closeness, clarifies feelings, encourages reconciliation, etc... but this really isn't about maintaining contact at night - it is about continually seeking and appropriately applying helpful marriage advice.

If you want a better marriage, keep your eyes and ears open for tips and tricks.  Read blogs (good job, you are on your way already:-), read articles, talk to friends, listen to what your spouse found in a book, take a class, go on a retreat....this is what people with improving marriages do.  At our church, when anything to strengthen marriages is offered, we can always expect to find some of the couples with the best marriages there - because they know you can always have a better marriage.

And you can have a better marriage - learn from every source you can...
           For example: http://www.laughyourway.com/better-marriage-minute/